Of Merlin and Men
Feb. 21st, 2009 10:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fadagaskiCockney at work is, I think, flirting with me. Thing is, Cockney makes me nervous. Not in the scared-for-my-life way. What I mean is, he's a self-confessed ex-playa, very open about sex and all that, which is fine. I don't judge people, and he claims he's over that. I've shared some of my situation with him on the long [long long looooooong] drives home via Consett, and he's taken it upon himself to:
1) Judge how I act and react to him despite only knowing me for 5 days
2) Ask me out on a date because, at that point, I'd never been on one before, and then get huffy when I
a) forgot
b) thought he was bluffing
c) thanked him for asking me out
3) Advise me on future relations with men based solely on his own personality and experience.
Dear Cockney,
You're a fairly nice guy, very chatty and quite easy to get on with. I drive you home because I use as much diesel going slow on the long route as going fast on the short route, and taking a 40 min bus ride isn't anyone's idea of fun no matter what you say. You talk a lot in the car, and most of what you say is interesting, though I think at least 75% is also complete bullshit. I like you. I think we could be friends.
However, just because I am nice to you doesn't mean I am the least bit interested in a pity fuck from you. Naivety does not equal ignorance or stupidity. I don't need you to 'explain' the mysteries of men to me; I have eyes, and ears, and a brain, and what I don't know now I'm willing to learn the hard way. Please stop giving me advice, or offering to 'show me', and expecting me to be grateful.
Furthermore, you keep accusing me of being 'defensive', but I honestly have never met a man as awkward as you. You hide behind your bravado, puffed up chest and cheeky grin, rattling off conquests and fights with the greatest pride, but have you ever stopped to think about why you're doing that? Are you trying to impress me? Though you know I have no benchmark with which to compare? What are you trying to achieve? You're so eager to explain that you're deeper than the person you portray at work, the sleazy Londoner who'll sleep with anyone, but the fact is that's who you ARE at work. What does that say about you?
Lastly: like I said, you're a nice guy. I like you in a platonic way. But claiming that you're different from most other guys in one breath, then detailing the time you used your tongue bar on a girl until she begged you to stop, followed by soundly criticising the appearance of a 16 y/o McD's server to me with the disclaimer "I know I'm not perfect, but" in the other, doesn't quite lend credence to your claim.
He without sin casts the first stone. Think about that the next time you want to inform me that Surgeon was a bad idea (I know, I went out with him because I really wanted to go bowling), or something similar.
Sincerely,
Your Lift Home
Yesterday, I passed a sign 50ft from work that said "Camelot protected". What do these omens portent? ^______^
Who here agrees that Bradley James is probably perfect?
1) Judge how I act and react to him despite only knowing me for 5 days
2) Ask me out on a date because, at that point, I'd never been on one before, and then get huffy when I
a) forgot
b) thought he was bluffing
c) thanked him for asking me out
3) Advise me on future relations with men based solely on his own personality and experience.
Dear Cockney,
You're a fairly nice guy, very chatty and quite easy to get on with. I drive you home because I use as much diesel going slow on the long route as going fast on the short route, and taking a 40 min bus ride isn't anyone's idea of fun no matter what you say. You talk a lot in the car, and most of what you say is interesting, though I think at least 75% is also complete bullshit. I like you. I think we could be friends.
However, just because I am nice to you doesn't mean I am the least bit interested in a pity fuck from you. Naivety does not equal ignorance or stupidity. I don't need you to 'explain' the mysteries of men to me; I have eyes, and ears, and a brain, and what I don't know now I'm willing to learn the hard way. Please stop giving me advice, or offering to 'show me', and expecting me to be grateful.
Furthermore, you keep accusing me of being 'defensive', but I honestly have never met a man as awkward as you. You hide behind your bravado, puffed up chest and cheeky grin, rattling off conquests and fights with the greatest pride, but have you ever stopped to think about why you're doing that? Are you trying to impress me? Though you know I have no benchmark with which to compare? What are you trying to achieve? You're so eager to explain that you're deeper than the person you portray at work, the sleazy Londoner who'll sleep with anyone, but the fact is that's who you ARE at work. What does that say about you?
Lastly: like I said, you're a nice guy. I like you in a platonic way. But claiming that you're different from most other guys in one breath, then detailing the time you used your tongue bar on a girl until she begged you to stop, followed by soundly criticising the appearance of a 16 y/o McD's server to me with the disclaimer "I know I'm not perfect, but" in the other, doesn't quite lend credence to your claim.
He without sin casts the first stone. Think about that the next time you want to inform me that Surgeon was a bad idea (I know, I went out with him because I really wanted to go bowling), or something similar.
Sincerely,
Your Lift Home
Yesterday, I passed a sign 50ft from work that said "Camelot protected". What do these omens portent? ^______^
Who here agrees that Bradley James is probably perfect?
