But I can't. I have debts here, responsibilities, things and people that need looking after. So I must stay.
I tried looking up different ways to make money online. There are lots of ideas out there ... none of them guaranteed. I can't risk that.
The Yearning is for a challenge. To travel the world would be an immense challenge, but it's not possible right now. Instead, I'm setting my sights on something else. My new challenge - to get a Masters (in American Studies) and then a PhD (in Education?).
And maybe, in that time, other challenges might arise. Who knows?
I spend a lot of my time questioning my own motives. I think I live life very much in a 'grass is greener' kind of way. For example, mindless officework made me yearn for intellectual rigour. University study makes me nostalgic for the mindless jobs of yore. See?
Wherever I get a teaching job, if I should succeed, I don't want to stay too long. A year. Two at most. Then I want to travel. I've wanted to live abroad in a more permanent way since I was 14. When I go to Australia I'll work those mindless backpacker jobs. Grass might be greener down under, right?
But what if I start teaching and I don't want to leave. I'll be so conflicted because I've ALWAYS wanted to travel, but a new part of me might want to settle. Yet if I settle, and continue to teach in the UK because it's something I really love, will I then regret not travelling like I always wanted?
And as for the travelling. Am I clinging onto a dream past its expiry date? At my age (oh so ancient 25) backpacking as a long-term lifestyle choice is quite rare. Will I find it tedious? Will I find these young'uns to be terribly immature and naive? Probably.
Gah. Torn already and I haven't even had an interview yet.
Realisation 1) Uni stuff really isn't that hard. I spent 5 hours today reading for my essay and I think in the end it'll be fine. It'll all be fine. And I like teaching. The hardest part of the next 6 months is keeping on top of both whilst negotiating my treacherous inability to remember
Realisation 2) I'm 25; if I'm very lucky I've got another 75 years left. This means two things: firstly, 6 months of teacher training followed by a scholastic year as an NQT are not, in the grand scheme of things, a drastic length of time; secondly, I have up to 75 years to explore the world. Since I was 14 I've planned my gap year (and put it off and put it off and put it off). Nowadays I know a year could never be enough. But that's okay! Because I will have 75 years - more or less - to live in a hundred different places and sail across oceans and drive over continents and just experience all the different shades of human life there are. It's no longer bound by ideas of settlement. If I have a partner, they must understand that very essential vagabond side of my nature; and if we have kids, then they'll just have to learn how to pack light. There's really nothing in the world to stop me.
Day 3 of the temp job. We are deep-cleaning a school before the kids come back. I can say that I categorically hate gum, graffiti and black shoes.
There's nothing wrong with cleaning. I do not think less of those that do clean for a living. I quickly got over feelings of inadequacy the first time I swept up puke as an au pair. And yet ...
I am forever petrified of being stuck here. It would be my #1 worst nightmare to be cornered by bad finances (of which I have plenty) into a life of 60-hour weeks scrubbing on my hands and knees.
This is temporary. If I did it in Turkey in exchange for diving lessons, it would be temporary.
In September I start teacher training. In December I start applying for jobs. September 2012 I begin my NQT year. After that, all this being patient and planning ahead and biding my time will pay off, as I'll be on the first plane to somewhere hot and sunny with eager kids.
I never got to do my gapyear. I'm in too much debt to consider it now. But my god I will get out there to see the world no matter how goddamn long it takes.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
I. I slept 4 hours last night. I don't do well on no sleep, especially on a (literal) school night. Have been drinking mochaccinos today, and I don't even like coffee. Blah.
II. Things what need doing: fold laundry, put away dishes, vacuum, finish the goddamn K/S fic, go jogging, buy groceries, tutor. Not in that order.
III. Slow day at school gave me ample time to ponder the future. I has a travel bug that is well documented, but I also has an academic bug. I've been looking at PhD options. Berkeley and KCL are still waaaay up there. What other schools might I go for in the USA?
IV. But of course, I do want to travel first. I think Australia will be my first port of call when I've done my NQT year. Then New Zealand. Then the Far East. My plan, it is complex.
V. I have purple toenails.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.
Have spent most of the morning looking up the visa requirements for Australia and New Zealand. Contrary to what I thought, the Kiwi visa is up to age 30. That sucks ... a lot.
It has also come to my attention that I have a regret. University. I went because the government was threatening to withdraw funding. I knew I wanted to get a degree, but I didn't know what in. So I picked the most broad subject (American Studies and English) and went off to study. And, okay, it was fun, and I don't regret Canada or meeting bustahead (well ...) but -
Okay, clarification of thought: I regret being mid-20s and in debt and stuck in frigid England when I could have been globetrotting for the past 6 years.
Benefits of hindsight I guess.
Ah well! I'm sure it'll all work out in the end. Mostly I'm just annoyed that I'm cutting it very fine with the Australasia working holiday visa stuff (age-wise, that is).
When I think of RTW travel, I generally mean working travel. When I picture working travel, it's normally in Australia and New Zealand.
So, updated plan: working holidays down under for 2-4 years before I'm too old for the visa. I think then I'll feel like I've earned the right to globetrot until the money is gone. At which point I'll start working again, wherever I am.
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
Since I was 14 I have yearned to go on a round the world trip. Things have popped up to detain me, genuine things that couldn't be avoided. Now, 10 years later, I'm dirt broke and about to embark on a 1 year teaching course followed by 1 year of UK teaching. This does not a travel-bunny make. However! It will provide the financial opportunities to explore the world or, as I like to say, 'bugger off somewhere else'.
I have therefore narrowed down my ideal route from 'the rest of the world' to an actual itinerary with estimated duration times and everything! Of course this is only the first of many trips. The first RTW ticket will take me to:
Hawaii for 2 weeks
New Zealand for 10 weeks
Australia for 14 weeks
South East Asia for 12 weeks
China for 6 weeks
Mongolia for 3 weeks
Russia for 3 weeks
Denmark for 2 weeks
The best thing about world-travelling at this scale is that times and dates are very flexible.
Eee! So excited! Can't wait for 2013 to come now!
o) earned a Masters degree
oo) lived in one county (other than the UK) for a whole year
ooo) written a book (and finished it with a view to publishing)
oooo) visited Africa
That's everything I really want to do. Awesome! Everything else on my bucket list (there are a LOT of things) are dependant on a huge number of factors.
* Whilst convention dictates that a decade starts with the year ending in '0' - in this case 2010 - I spit in the face of convention. :P
New plan: take a plane to New Orleans on Aug 15 for a week of food, fun, and frolics, followed by another plane (via Houston) for 3 days of Las Vegas relaxation, before my TrekAmerica tour starts.
I love having friends like neutrallized in far-flung places like The Big Easy! ^_____________^
2010 is going to be busy.
1. Going back to camp at the end of May.
2. Trying to wheedle 10 days in my uncle's swish Las Vegas apartment after that.
3. TrekAmerica tour for 10 days after that, including Cowboy Camp and Monument Valley.
4. Uni starts end of September, and Pub has said I can have my job again when I return.
So, yeah. Busy busy. Not cheap of course but at this point I'm beyond caring. WANT FREEDOM!!!
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
Here's a question though: Did the Vulcans have their own fleet of ships? Would they have been battle-capable, or more defensive?
In RL news, I am TEH BUSY with the working and the watching of TOS and the laundry and the working. I am trying to volunteer as a dog-walker for disabled owners, and am also suffering the return of my travel bug, Herbert. Herbert is telling me that running away to New Zealand or Indonesia or Ghana is an excellent idea. Herbert is persuasive.
Family holiday to Somerset was good. Wet, and cramped, and also wet, and did I mention wet? But I enjoyed it. Second week off was awesome wrapped up in rain.
On Friday I confirmed that I will be starting my second job at Pub on Wednesday. Yay money! I did maths, and it turns out I'll be working a total of 60 hours a week from both jobs, which is fine because Estate Agent requires I sit, and Pub is 16 hours a week. Awesome.
This weekend I have caught up on Star Trek fic. I shit you not, that is all I have done. I still haven't finished, because this fandom is crazy prolific like woah even when I'm being really selective. Like, I will only read genfic and Kirk/McCoy unless it comes with three recommendations from people on my drastically reduced flist. I started off with 200 fics. I'm down to 20. My butt hurts from sitting so long.
On startrekbigbang I have written a grand total of 3000 words. I had intended to be at 7500 by the end of today, but such is life. Woe.
Apart from that, the only other news of note is that I will be moving house in mid-September. And there's a blissed-out moth chilling on my ceiling. C'est la vie.
See, I'm job-hunting, naturally. And, naturally, it's slim pickings here in the UK. But the websites I'm using to look also have international job listings. And I've been here in England for 2 weeks tomorrow, which is about my standard time frame before I'm jetting off somewhere new and exciting. So, naturally, I have been looking at international job opportunities including, but not limited to, being a Content Writer for CNN International in the UAE and a Trainee Technical Author for Reuters in France. Chances of making it past first stage to either are 694248 to 1 against, but there you go. And then, naturally, I re-stumbled upon the Working Holiday Visa to Australia and New Zealand, and yes, I am VERY VERY VERY tempted. So tempted that if nothing of interest happens by May, then I know where I'll be heading.
But it's not my fault! I blame my mother.
Tagged by fidgetknickers. I never get tagged, so yay!
a. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blog and replace any question that they dislike with a new, original question.
b. Tag eight people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag who tagged you.
( Read more... )
Tag: shei, belenustenebrae, kaleidascopeyes, knowing_shadows, trialia, annephoenix, bustahead, moeshas.
Merlin (ep 112)
( Read more... )
NaNoWriMo Swiss style ended in, well, style this past weekend. We gathered at belenustenebrae's house for a sleepover that involved cake, alcohol, pizza, pasta, Twister, Singstar, Mario Party, Super Smash Bros, and Merlin drinking games. Best weekend of my life ever full stop amen. Gonna miss these guys so much - they made Switzerland a much more entertaining place than it would otherwise have been.
Going to Milan this weekend to stay with jackks, which shall prove to be entertaining, especially if angry uni porters yell at us in Italian. Hmm.
And then I fly home to jolly old England on Monday. Can't believe my time as an au pair is almost over. I'm going to miss this family a lot; they've been so good to me. Still, nothing beats a Christmas with your own mother and sister and menagerie.