2am ramble

Feb. 13th, 2012 02:01 am
fadagaski: (dn L)
1) What sucks about not getting the job at that school isn't the failure of getting the job (though that sucks). It's the uncertainty. What if they were trying to call me but I didn't have signal at the time? It's such a stupid sliver of hope, but it might explain the lack of email. Stupid optimism is stupid.

2) My half-term 'holiday':

- write essay
- submit essay
- plan other essay
- submit plan for other essay
- read two novels for school
- plan two schemes of work based on aforementioned novels for school
- try to figure out what the third scheme of work is supposed to entail
- work 31 hours at the Pub

3) In two years' time I will be camping out under the stars in the Australian bush drinking whisky and laughing at my past self.

4) I'm putting weight on again. Bah humbug.


Dec. 2nd, 2011 02:13 am
fadagaski: (STOP!)

I just got home from the pub. I didn't even get a break. I have to be up in 4 hours. I'm teaching three classes today. I've been wearing the same trousers for twenty hours straight - not coincidentally the amount of time I worked or was in transit to and from places of work.

I'm so exhausted I want to cry.

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fadagaski: (horse free spirit)

Lovely manager at pub has taken more than an hour to cash up. And he's still doing it wrong. I want to go to sleeeeeep.

Went to a fab fancy dress party last night. I was a mummy, in tea-dyed bedsheet bandages. Got a couple of numbers for my efforts too, so whoop!

Tomorrow is the first day back after half term. Am slightly kakking it, I confess. No lesson plans, no scheme of work, no organised PGCE folders, no QTS tests booked. I fail utterly at being a responsible adult.

Speaking of: Boy from a few months ago has been sending me long pleading emails. I realise this is my fault because I never broke it off with him, I just left him hanging with no explanation. I feel really bad about that. But a part of me is grateful that he's getting the message and I sort of dodged the bullet, because he would have been an incredibly close, devoted, clinging boyfriend.

Much preferring the fab life alone.

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fadagaski: (post lacks insight)

I've been dreaming (a rare occurrence).

Last night: We were hosting some kind of meeting at Pub and when it came to the end, I used the classic teacher waiting-for-silence trick to get everyone to bring stuff back to the bar.

Night before: I was working on a farm and there was a field of pigs. The farmer was nowhere to be found, but there were gaps in the hedge that I had to fill because the pigs (even my favourites) were escaping. Even though I had a hacksaw for wood, there were no trees, so I tried to close the gaps with office supplies (pens and sticky tape, mostly). The pigs got out anyway.

You think I have teaching on the brain?

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Oct. 9th, 2011 01:05 am
fadagaski: (ff7 cloud afro)
Puke. Just - why? Why does a night out have to end in puke? Specifically, a variety of consistencies of puke in various places through the pub, left anonymously for me to clean up like little faeries have floated through this world to do their smelly business.
fadagaski: (trigun vash thumbs-up)
My sleep cycle is apparently so used to being cut short now that I woke up at 4.45am without prompting. I am putting the extra time to good use by watching Ice Age and reading porn.

PGCE stuff, or: Reflective journaling )

Pub stuff, or: Reasons why barwork is awesome )
fadagaski: (take it easy turtle)

If I had been less disciplined, if I had read one more fic instead of walking to work, it would've rained before I left and I'd have taken the car. Now I'm looking at 6 hours in wet underwear. Bah.

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fadagaski: (splash beagle)

Pub shift was loooong. Started at 1pm. Finished at 2.30am. Home for 3am.

Felt really down in the afternoon which I am choosing to attribute to low blood sugar, however: I am taking Dianette, which is a contraceptive pill with the added bonus of suppressing excess hair growth. Since I've been shaving a beard for 10 years, I thought I'd give it a shot. But the thing with hormone pills is that it messes your mood from what you're used to. I tried a pill like that before and I cried every afternoon until the scrip was finished. So: leery of sudden moodswings and urges to cry. The again, maybe I'm just not used to that amount of female hormones bouncing around. If my ovaries functioned correctly, would I be a really weepy girl?

Other side effects listed include blood clots, liver damage and a change in appetite. Didn't have much of one at all yesterday, so that again is something to watch.

In other news, I currently weigh 11 st 4 lbs and haven't been running in 9 days. Whoops.

Other other news: I am so in love with Glee at the moment. [livejournal.com profile] shei is my one true love and best dealer ever.

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fadagaski: (take it easy turtle)

Surprise 12-hr shift at Pub was surprising! Because I was only scheduled for a 9-hr. Still. It wasn't so bad. I went a bit cucoo at the end.

Most annoying part of the day was having to negotiate with my manager for full pay. He wanted to pay me for 11.5 hours. I pointed out that a 12-1230 shift was 12 hrs and 10 mins worth of pay (20 min unpaid break deducted).

Have texted head manager to double check figures because dammit I will be paid the full amount or else!

But though I'm exhausted, and it is Hell week, and I am still stuck in the UK, I just had a pint of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food so all is well and nothing can be ill.

Whee R+J quote ftw! I've gone the full gamut of British culture - Red Dwarf to Shakespeare.

PS. I downloaded the Mad Max trilogy. Jensen Ackles is the spit of Mel Gibson circa 1980.

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fadagaski: (trigun vash thumbs-up)

Doing a close at the pub with this manager is always good craic but my god is he slow! Still. He's lovely. Such a good listener when I'm ranting about Scottish douche. He'll throw him out and bar him next time he acts like a douche to me.

I am putting weight on again. Can see it in my face and feel it in my tighter trousers. Nothing I didn't expect but still a bit demoralizing. She says while eating pizza. Honestly, I sabotage myself in full knowledge.

Tomorrow I will go running. I will eat healthy. I will write 100 words of my big bang. I will look forward to the future and pull myself out of this ever-so-slight depressive funk.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

fadagaski: (ff7 cloud afro)

Scottish geezer who sexually assaulted me a couple months ago has continued to be an utter douche. We usually ignore each other, which is fine.

Today I got called a bitch, amongst other things, for informing him that he was cut off as he was mortalled (as usual). First: not my decision. Second: I don't serve him and he knows this.

I am just so fucking angry. I hate him. I do. He could be run over by a bus tomorrow and I'd walk away.

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Pub = fail

Jul. 17th, 2011 08:59 pm
fadagaski: (horse free spirit)

I put in for 1 week's holiday, 2 months ago, from 27th July. It was confirmed to me by three managers. So? I'm listed as on holiday from the 22nd for TWO weeks. Which - WTF?

I'm happy to get time off, but not when I haven't requested. Because of this, I'm working 8 hours next week. Because of this, I'm going to lose either 4 days' holiday or 4 days' pay. In what universe is this fair?

Fucking pub.

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Jul. 4th, 2011 01:09 am
fadagaski: (blue sky over the sea)

Ahahaha I am still at the pub waiting to go and I have work tomorrow at 8am and I don't know when I'll get out of here and also I am hungry.

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Jul. 1st, 2011 07:08 am
fadagaski: (splash beagle)

I'm in officewear for the first time in months. It's uncomfortable to say the least. Starting a new job today - 3/4 weeks temping for a construction company, full time hours for reasonable pay. Not looking forward to the crazy fun of 75+ hours a week between one job and t'other again, but definitely approve of money for rent and also food.

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fadagaski: (STOP!)

Been talking to those who were on shift with me Friday night when I collapsed. Not only did I smack my head on the ice bucket, not only did I collide with a shelf full of glasses (none of which broke!), I was apparently unconscious for 20 minutes. That's the longest I've ever been out. So weird.

I really really want to see the CCTV footage.

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fadagaski: (surprise snail)

Brilliant night out. Rocked the dress. No pics though. :(

Am flat on my back in the staffroom after passing out behind the bar. Nausea and general crap feelings not due to a hangover. Don't know what's wrong but it fucking sucks.

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Bah humbug

Jun. 12th, 2011 12:51 pm
fadagaski: (take it easy turtle)

In 10 minutes I go on shift for 10 hours, with a 30 min lunch break thrown in there for kicks.

Can you tell how NOT pleased I am with current corporate break policy? Grrr.

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Oh pub

Jun. 4th, 2011 12:29 am
fadagaski: (post lacks insight)

The rota at work was all kinds of fucked this week. On Tuesday I pulled an unscheduled 6 hour shift whilst dying of flu. Then Wednesday evening I received a call from Pub that went like this:

You're on tonight. 5-10pm.

No I'm not.

Yes you are.

Nope. I don't work Wednesday.

Yeah, the rota got changed but no one has been told. Any chance you can come in anyway?

Nada. I have tutoring now, which pays more for less hours.

Oh. Well. Bye. Also, you just worked a 6 day week so you can have Friday off.


... Guess who got a phone call at 7.10pm asking where I was and sorry to mess me around but I actually do need to be in tonight. Grrrrr.

On the plus side, it was a really good shift. I enjoyed the craic, and I tried a double Eristoff Gold and a double Eristoff Black afterwards. Conclusion: yummy.

I am mostly over my cold, and after the spectacularly unproductive day (I woke up at midday! After 12 hours kip!) I decided to go for a run (first time in nearly two weeks. I am very bad). It was awesome. Running at night is fab!

To summarise: I fail at writing fic.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

fadagaski: (dn L)
Today at work, whilst balancing precariously on a stool to string up bunting for the royal wedding tomorrow, I was sexually harassed by one of our regulars. It was playful, he didn't mean anything by it, but I told him in a firm voice not to touch me again.

He got thrown out because he started calling me a "stupid fucking mare".

Why do people suck so hard?
fadagaski: (blue sky over the sea)

Running: is going super well! I'm really pleased with my progress. I do, however, need to invest in some shorts for this delightful hot weather we are having.

Diet: some days are better than others. My will power slips most notably at work, which is not unexpected. It's a fairly physical job, and also we serve food. Oh well. I am still doing really well. Just 1st 11lbs to my next goal!

Fic: am chuffed to bits that people are liking Absence Makes. Chapter 3 is slow going thus far. I think because Esca is not there, it's a lot more difficult to have Marcus in reaction to him. So I've shamefully been procrastinating today by rereading all my old HP fic. My god, it's bad. I mean, really bad (except the one where Severus is a slave; that one is pretty insightful). Still, by looking back I can see how much I've moved forward.

Stuff: for those who have been living under a rock, a certain prince of the realm is getting married on Friday. While I'm happy for the royal couple, I must state that having to stay at work until 2am Friday morning to decorate for the occasion is cruel to say the least.

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fadagaski: (Default)

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