fadagaski: (take it easy turtle)
Lord of the Rings is on TV again. It's making me nostalgic for those 3 wonderful years of full fandom immersion. I don't remember reading a huge amount of fic, though I think the definition of 'huge' has been warped by my time in Harry Potter fandom. I loved the wait for the next film; I loved playing some of the tie-in games; I really loved gorging myself on Tolkien's works over and over again; I loved wallowing in the behind-the-scenes details of the movies and all those delicious DVD extras.

The sad thing is The Hobbit hasn't engendered the same level of enthusiasm anywhere on the Internet, never mind in myself, and the chances of reclaiming that sweet feeling of fandom gluttony are slimmer and slimmer every day.

I'm still determined to take a long holiday in New Zealand at some point.
fadagaski: (splash beagle)

Pub shift was loooong. Started at 1pm. Finished at 2.30am. Home for 3am.

Felt really down in the afternoon which I am choosing to attribute to low blood sugar, however: I am taking Dianette, which is a contraceptive pill with the added bonus of suppressing excess hair growth. Since I've been shaving a beard for 10 years, I thought I'd give it a shot. But the thing with hormone pills is that it messes your mood from what you're used to. I tried a pill like that before and I cried every afternoon until the scrip was finished. So: leery of sudden moodswings and urges to cry. The again, maybe I'm just not used to that amount of female hormones bouncing around. If my ovaries functioned correctly, would I be a really weepy girl?

Other side effects listed include blood clots, liver damage and a change in appetite. Didn't have much of one at all yesterday, so that again is something to watch.

In other news, I currently weigh 11 st 4 lbs and haven't been running in 9 days. Whoops.

Other other news: I am so in love with Glee at the moment. [livejournal.com profile] shei is my one true love and best dealer ever.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

fadagaski: (surprise snail)

I knew this girl in Year 8 who was a massive Westlife fan. At breaktimes she would sit in the library or on the field and write long self-insert stories. She didn't know about fanfic at the time, so I never told her of the Mary Sue taboo.

I totally have that same urge now to write utterly gratuitous self-insert fic, just for me. But even though it would never see the light of day, I'm reluctant to do it, just because it's so shameful in my chosen circle of peers.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Two things

Jun. 18th, 2011 11:50 am
fadagaski: (blue sky over the sea)

1. Watching the source material after a loooong time of reading only fanfic is always really eye-opening. As in, yesterday I saw Reboot for the first time in at least a year, and it's incredible the extra subtleties you notice in each performance that only stand out in contrast to fan depiction. Summary: ilu Jim Kirk/Chris Pine.

2. [livejournal.com profile] startrekbigbang.

Thoughts )

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

fadagaski: (hamster love hearts)
[livejournal.com profile] thingswithwings has made a great vid called The Price which is quite possibly the most awesome vid ever. Multifandom, with additional meta that is just 100% AWESOME.

I kind of want to burn both vid and meta to a 1000 CDs and spam all of Hollywood with it.

Which is not a little bit ironic, because I will fully cop that I am a manpain fetishist. No, really! Dean Winchester getting the crap kicked out of him for the sake of his brother or mom? Sweet! Jim Kirk against every baddy in the entire universe? I am SO there!

But I can also recognise the truth in the meta. White manpain is, like, the antithesis of every development we supposedly got out of the 60s. And it's so prevalent! I mean, the vid demonstrates it aptly!

In conclusion: watch the vid. Read the meta. Think critically about everything the media inflicts upon you. But also, enjoy it too. Because that's not a confusing contradiction of interests or anything.
fadagaski: (blue sky over the sea)

I sometimes feel like I need to carry a disclaimer with me in fandom. "Warning: this person is a heteronormative able-bodied white girl with no history of mental illness. Please excuse any faux-pas made through ignorance."

I mean. Ok. Being in fandom means I'm already more exposed to alternative lifestyles and modes of thought than 98% of The Sun readership. I enjoy reading about those alternatives. Spock as a girl. Esca as the dom. Cross-dressing Harry Potter. Blind Dean Winchester. Sociopath Jim Kirk. I like to think I'm open-minded, enough that even when something throws me for a loop, I don't immediately cringe or attack.

I deliberately avoid discussion, as I am distinctly unqualified to offer opinion, in the same way I cannot comment with any authority on gay quadraplegic or black woman or trans bipolar experience. Commentary on those experiences should come from those that are living them first, before anyone as privileged as me weighs in.

But. I have a plot bunny. Because a lot of genderswap is awesomely cracktastic and I love it. I just want something a little deeper. So I brainstormed (wait, is that term considered offensive by epileptics? Please advise). I've got an idea for a fic, a genderswap that isn't cracky. I just don't know if I can pull it off, because I am female in body and mind and happily so. What if I don't see a potential problem for the characters in my fic? What if I write it but someone is offended?

These are, of course, everyday considerations. I am mostly a pacifist, and deplore confrontation of any kind. I don't want to hurt anyone. But in the text-only world of the Internet, in a corner that attracts a lot of Other-identifying people as a safe haven, it becomes especially important to guard your words, explain your meaning, and hope that everyone is as open-minded as you try to be. Even to someone as 'normal' as me.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

fadagaski: (Default)

12 mins to the end of Boy's mock English exam. A random post of randomisity:

A. I am self-sabotaging. Been staying up hella late this week reading badfic instead of writing my own fills or, y'know, sleeping. Brain, you are not so subtle.

B. eHarmony. Got a few convos going with some matches. I suppose the next part is to arrange coffee dates? IDEK. I've never dated before. I've never had a boyfriend before. How does this adult thing go?

C. I fail at writing fic. I'm more disciplined about running than about writing. Blaegh.

D. If the summer would just hurry up and load instead of timing out then the world would be a lot better.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

fadagaski: (splash beagle)
+ Post a list of your five favorite acts/kinks to read about. Check out this list if you need some inspiration.
+ At the bottom of your post, add what fandoms/pairings you're interested in.
+ Read other people's lists; the master list of lists is here.
+ Post comment-fic based off of other people's interests.


My Kinks
1. Frottage - preferably half-clothed and dirty, up against a wall.
2. Grunge - hardly ever see this in fic.
3. Heroic actions - by association, the 'woobie' factor.
4. Intelligence/Competence - hard to do well, but so good when it is.
5. Silence - dialogue can be really hard in a fic, but so can the space between speech.


My Fandoms/Pairings
Star Trek XI - Kirk/Bones, Kirk/Gaila, genfic
The Eagle - Marcus/Esca, genfic
Harry Potter - Remus/Sirius, Harry/Weasleys, genfic
Yami No Matsuei - Tsuzuki/Hisoka, genfic
Star Wars - Obi-Wan genfic
Final Fantasy VII - Cloud/any, genfic


My Fills For Other People!
STXI: Gaila, gen - Interaction between unexpected combination of characters for [livejournal.com profile] igrockspock.
STXI: Kirk/McCoy, slash - Biting, altered states, orgasm denial for [livejournal.com profile] airspaniel.
STXI: Kirk/Chapel/McCoy(absent), het - Multiple partners, claiming ownership, touching, dystopia, children for [livejournal.com profile] boosette.
fadagaski: (STOP!)
Note: Subject line is not a slur against trans people of any persuasion. Nor is it a commentary on fic like this, which is all kinds of win!

I am filling my own prompt on [livejournal.com profile] the_eagle_kink, though I won't be posting it there. The words are just pouring out; it feels so good to be writing again. But! As ever, I have Doubt. I worry that my always-a-girl!Esca is too much like an OC. I worry that I'm not telling a story that is both boy!Esca's and girl!Esca's. I worry that the differences between the two are too great. And also, I worry that the very triggery subject matter is going to cause hurt or offence.

The inner critic, she is a cruel mistress.
fadagaski: (dn L)
Is it bad manners to answer your own kinkmeme prompt? Especially when you've de-anoned already?
fadagaski: (trigun vash thumbs-up)
Didn't pass out much at the blood test, which was great. Traumatised me for the rest of the day, so getting through my shift at work was difficult. Still, at least it's over with now.

Went for a run this morning and felt awesome. It totally rocked.

Also, I put a request up over at the kinkmeme for The Eagle and HOMG! Two amazing WIP fills already! It's like having fic written especially for you! ♥

It was much easier watching Glee when I was in the USA...
fadagaski: (take it easy turtle)

Today's run was awesome. This is very unusual for a Wednesday. We had some technology fail, but that meant I ran up the hill for 5 minutes instead of 3. I'm very proud of myself! I really pushed hard today for a total of 18 minutes running (interspersed with 8 mins of walking). Yay me!

The Eagle is a teeny tiny fandom. It's nice in a way, but there needs to be more fic!! I am planning something, which (if I finish it) will be long and also plotty. Yay!

I decided I missed reading actual books. It's honestly been years since I picked up an actual book made of paper. So, whilst on amazon looking for humane mouse traps (for our third lodger, who lives in the cupboard under the stairs), I may have splurged a little bit. Lol. But I will have presents in the mail!

I went to school again yesterday. It was really good. I did some more 1-1 teaching that was very productive. I also helped out a bit with a year 7 PSHE class. It was illuminating to see behaviour management in practice, and how it worked. Also realised the value of names in a class. I'm feeling more confident about a teaching career now that I've spent time in the classroom.

Tomorrow I go for a blood test. I fully expect it to be as bad as the last time, which means I certainly won't be driving anywhere. I wish I wasn't so squeamish!

Thus concludes my Wednesday summary.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

fadagaski: (gaila is so hawt 03)
Regarding Avatar: I understand that this film kinda sucked a little. The CGI was, of course, first rate cutting edge modern awesomeness. Everything else, from the plotline to the characterisation to even the score in some parts, was cliched and well-worn to the point where I half-expected the General to say "No, Luke. I am your father!"

But.

Am I really the only person on the whole of Livejournal who kind of wants to read fic about this strange new planet and all these kooky people? I know that every single character is one-dimensional (pun entirely intended), but I think that makes it more exciting because there are more gaps to fill, more things to explore! It's like Harry Potter, where every adult character is exactly who JKR needs them to be until they're needed to be someone else (see: Sirius Black).

I would like to read about Avatar spoilers. ). Or how about moar Avatar spoilers. ) And that's just the two I thought of when I watched it again this afternoon.

In regards to Star Trek XI, I still have this one fic that I'm trying to write, but I'm having issues with style and voice. It's from Gaila's POV (another blank-canvas-character. Sensing a theme?) but I can't decide how to tell the story. Most Gaila-fics (the good ones, with depth) have a kind of over-arching style where the reader is half-linked into Gaila's thoughts and time passes in blobs that serve to pick out the prudent parts of her history that make the point. The best writer by far is [livejournal.com profile] igrockspock and she employs this style a lot, which I think my Muse is trying to emulate. I think it would suit the flow of the story, too, and I have a succinct writing pattern anyway. But I'm reluctant to throw my eggs into that basket purely because it's quite a common narrative style in fanfic now (see: every 5Times fic ever written). So do I go with the style that is trying to come out or do I try to write something more structured?

Gah! Fic = hard.
fadagaski: (charlie brown and snoopy)
My two week soiree has finally ended. Woe is me. More woe is me, for I'm not entirely sure 'soiree' is the word I need, but I am too lazy to look it up. Woe.

Family holiday to Somerset was good. Wet, and cramped, and also wet, and did I mention wet? But I enjoyed it. Second week off was awesome wrapped up in rain.

On Friday I confirmed that I will be starting my second job at Pub on Wednesday. Yay money! I did maths, and it turns out I'll be working a total of 60 hours a week from both jobs, which is fine because Estate Agent requires I sit, and Pub is 16 hours a week. Awesome.

This weekend I have caught up on Star Trek fic. I shit you not, that is all I have done. I still haven't finished, because this fandom is crazy prolific like woah even when I'm being really selective. Like, I will only read genfic and Kirk/McCoy unless it comes with three recommendations from people on my drastically reduced flist. I started off with 200 fics. I'm down to 20. My butt hurts from sitting so long.

On [livejournal.com profile] startrekbigbang I have written a grand total of 3000 words. I had intended to be at 7500 by the end of today, but such is life. Woe.

Apart from that, the only other news of note is that I will be moving house in mid-September. And there's a blissed-out moth chilling on my ceiling. C'est la vie.
fadagaski: (horse free spirit)
I have a bad track record with challenges, fic memes, marathons, etc, but I am DETERMINED to beat this one. From July 15th I'd only need to write 216 words a day to reach 15k by the deadline for [livejournal.com profile] startrekbigbang if I paced myself ...

Of course, I suck at pacing. It is my curse.

But! I am so excited to start! I have a billion ideas, and this fandom NEEDS MOAR GENFIC which I can happily provide!

But. Motivation. Like my frequent claims that I'll start jogging "tomorrow", my ability to spur myself into writing is likewise fleeting. How do you get back into the saddle? Is anyone willing to race me a la NaNo?

I have a horsey theme. Horsey icon is appropriate.
fadagaski: (merlin know you want to)
In case anyone swings by from Merlin fandom wondering who that strange girl is and why she's commenting on all your fics at once - hi. My name is Ally, and I'm REALLY AWFUL about commenting on fanfics, but because this fandom is new and friendly, I thought I'd try to change that.

Speaking of Merlin, I totally need more icons. Nomnom.

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